Ah, the dreaded spam comments … we all know them well.
Now, for the most part, my spam filter catches all these bad boys so that I never even have to set eyes on them. But the other day one slipped through the cracks and reading it just made me … laugh! It reminded me of the fun I had featuring spam on my blog once when I was a newbie blogger. (I called the post Spam-a-Lot – click on the link for even more fun spam!).
So, I decided to take a peek into the abyss of the Spam folder to find a few gems and imagine … what if I was really going to reply to these random crazy comments? Take a look at what I might say.
(The first one is the message that made it through my spam filter.)
Do you ever read your spam? Does it make you laugh? Remember any crazy spam comments? I want to know!
Lol, I love spam comments. For several weeks, someone spammed everything I posted with links to a mattress store. The person was very concerned about my health and thought that my current mattress must not be meeting all of my mattress needs. I know I’m a weirdo, but I don’t think I can blame my mattress for that. 🙂
Well, a good mattress can be a Godsend! They’re really just looking out for you!
Oh my gosh Nicole, u didn’t know you touched a LOT of internet people! LMAO
I still see my spam. Mostly because all i get are viagra links.. (like I need it? Well, I guess Ezrah is a male name, so…). But every once in a while, I’d get funny spam messages. From giving me tips kn how to write or like yours, how my writing really helped them in their day to day lives.. ?
Yeah, there were PLENTY of other spam messages that I skipped over because they were just plain weird or dumb, but some of them really make me laugh. I’m glad I can touch all the internet people!!
Ha!! Those are hysterical. I totally have to check out my spam folder now!!
I know, right? Sometimes you just need to give it a peek for a good laugh!
Ahahahaha! You’ve made me want to dig into my spam folder and feature the funniest ones on my blog too! I must not have known you back when you did stuff like this as a feature, I don’t think I remember that^^ Spam comments are annoying sometimes but some of them are so bad and random that they’re hilarious XD Thanks for sharing these, I needed a laugh today! ♥
I’ve only done it one other time. I’ve been meaning to do it again over the years, and the message that made it through my spam filter reminded me. The whole touching all the internet people thing had me laughing, and I knew it was time to go check out the spam folder! Feel free to do a post like this yourself – I could use a few more laughs!
Thanks for a Friday afternoon chuckle, I was in need of one! I recently installed a plugin (WP Bruiser) that seems to have eliminated spam comments altogether, but I admit I kind of miss perusing those bizarre mashups of nonsense once in a while.
Yeah, my spam filter is good, but it doesn’t actually delete the comments immediately, so I can still look through them if I want. Good for a bit of fun!
Lory,
I am getting lots of spam comments with Akismet so… I am looking for another solution. WP Bruiser looks like an excellent plugin. How does it perform on your site? Does it really eliminated spam comments altogether?
Just to confirm, we are talking about WP bruiser plugin from wordpress.org, right?
https://wordpress.org/plugins/goodbye-captcha/
Kim
Oh my goodness, it’s like you read my mind with this post. Sometimes I do look at my spam, and I’m always thinking, does anyone else ever actually read their spam comments? Because they’re so weird sometimes that it’s funny. And what even is the point of some of them? Like, I don’t even know what they’re trying to accomplish or sell me lol.
Yeah, some of them are just so strange, that you can’t understand them at all. And I find myself thinking the same thing – do these actually ever WORK? I mean, are some people randomly clicking on these links they leave? Because it seems like such utter nonsense, I can’t imagine anyone ever being fooled. (But they can be fun to read!)
These are great, Nicole! 😀
I used to read my spam before I got Disqus, now nothing gets through it. I just checked the “all comments” section on my dashboard and there’s nothing new in spam there. So Disqus seems to be doing its job. 🙂 I’ll never understand why people take the time to create spam bots to crawl people’s blogs – there are SO MANY other things they could be doing with their lives… *sigh*
Yes, it seems like such a fruitless effort, but it must work SOMETIMES or they wouldn’t keep doing it, right? Maybe?
Ha ha. This is a funny post. Almost makes me want to peek into my spam folder.
You should! There’s some funny stuff in there!
Hahaha! Yes, I sometimes read my spam and it is pretty much the along the same lines of what you’ve received here. It always makes me crack up. I especially like the ones that thank me for the great information on the topic when my post is an update on my reading list.
Yes, in my last post on this, I split the spam into categories – Insulting, praising and just plain confusing. The praising ones are pretty funny because they’re often praising random things that weren’t even in your post. There was one that I didn’t include that said my audio music was the best they’d heard! Um, okay …
I love the ridiculous spam I get. I have to wonder if they think anyone falls for it. I got these two today –
You might need the service of babysitting in South West London over the
weekend or for a few hours in a day. With a link to a website selling tires.
Sweet blog! I found it while surfing around on Yahoo News.
Do you have any tips on how to get listed in Yahoo
News? I’ve been trying for a while but I never seem to get
there! Thanks. With a link to an adult themed website.
Well, now you know where to go if you’re ever in London and you need someone to babysit your tires!
BWHAHAH legitimately laughing out loud right now- because that is how I respond to these comments in my head! Actually, when one DOES get through, I respond to it because… why not? ? And how do I get the right necklace for MY activity? I mean, come on. Who doesn’t need a blogging necklace?
And I’m going to assume you forgot about all the ummm “inappropriate” ones on purpose 😉
Ha! Yes, it would have been even funnier if I’d allowed the one about touching the internet people to get through and just replied this way! Might have to do that next time! Spam provides great entertainment! And, yes, I left out QUITE a few spam messages – some of them with … um … interesting themes – and only chose my favorites. 🙂
Haha, too funny. I love your answers too! You should feature these more often, they are hilarious 🙂
Yes, I’ll have to remember to look through my spam every once in a while and collect the really fun ones!
This was hilarious! Especially how you apparently touched all the internet people! 🙂
I’m seriously going to have to check out my spam folder now!
Yeah, sometimes the internet people are a bit put off with all the touching, but I just can’t help myself! Hope you find some entertaining spam in your folder!
Oh lol, Nicole! I have some spam comments that are too funny, too! Especially those that say something about my post helping them immensely, and it’s my stacking the shelves post 😀
I’m very happy my spam filter is very strong, because it’s no fun if those kinds of comments actually make it out on the blog!
Have a wonderful weekend and happy reading 🙂
Yes – there are so many times where the comment could even almost make sense – but it has nothing to do with your post!
[…] @ Feed Your Addiction is having fun with spam! Too […]
Best post ever! I rarely get to see my spam, but I’m always tempted to write back when I see something weird.
I know – it seems like there are so many fun responses to these crazy messages!
This is hilarious! I hate spam and it rarely gets through. I can’t understand why all spam much be written by someone whose English is obviously 2nd language (or 3rd or 4th) and why it is so consistent. The only ones I have been getting lately link to generic bing, google, or yahoo sites. It doesn’t even seem like they are trying anymore.
I love this post Nicole, nice retort!
I know, right? You think, “Do these people have any grasp of English at all? Do they realize how ridiculous their comments sound?” I guess they either don’t know or don’t care. I’m never sure if I should laugh or just be sad for these poor people doing this job! (Obviously, in this case I chose to laugh … hmmm … what does this say about me?) 🙂
LOL I haven’t done this in a long time!! These are great.
I’ll have to go to your blog and find your old ones – I could use some more laughter!
Hilarious! These sound so familiar. Oh, right, I think I had some of those “visitors” too. I like the way you “responded.” Thanks for sharing.
No way! They came to your blog too? And they said the exact same thing? I’m shocked! These comments all seemed so personal. (Um, in case it’s not clear, that was all meant to be read with a hearty dose of sarcasm.) 🙂
Hahaha- this is great! I’ve been pretty lucky with Blogger catching spam comments. When I do get them, they’re almost always the ones that tell me how I can improve the quality of my posts, so clearly I’m doing something wrong, LOLOL.
It’s because you’ve been writing all your posts manually. Didn’t you know there’s a way easier way?! I’m sure those non-manually written posts would be far superior.
Omg this is hilarious.? I LOVE IT. And spam can be so nice and encouraging sometimes, can’t it? Kind spam. :’) I reeeeally hate the ones that are a jumble of Asian characters though. Ugh. I got bombarded with HUNDREDS of them once and they were all getting through the spam filter!! It was madness. I also had a spam that was all like “Oh this was such a great article, Susan”….and sheesh. WHO’S SUSAN??? ??
That’s the worst when spam makes it through your filter and you have to deal with it. I didn’t mind getting ONE message that made me laugh, but I’d be annoyed if I got a ton of them.
Might have to start calling you Susan now. 🙂
Lololol. Oh god, these are funny! I love your responses to each of them!
Spam can be great entertainment!!
This is hilarious, just be careful clicking on spam. You never know what might happen. Unfortunately the few times I’ve had to delve into my spam folder looking for a missing email, most of the contents were vulgar to say the least.
Yeah, these never make it to my actual email because my spam filter catches them – they’re just in my spam comment folder, which I can look at without fear of accidentally clicking on something. There were some vulgar ones too that I (obviously) skipped over – but I find way more vulgar stuff in my actual email spam than my comment spam for some reason.
This is so funny! I rarely get spam comments or spam email. I’m sure my time is coming as I’m relatively new in the blogosphere.
Most of my spam comments were coming from way older posts so I shut down comments on posts after a certain number of days. That has helped a lot!
Maybe your spam filter just doesn’t let you see them – I almost never get one that actually makes it through, but every once in a while one slips in. I had to actually look in my spam comment folder for most of these, otherwise I’d never see them. Much better that way – but every once in a while it’s fun to peek in the folder for a good laugh!
Hahahaha. This was so funny. I loved the gibberish one. I have never had any really interesting spam comments before. I just had the one where they called me a great human. Loved that. ha.
Well, you are a great human. You’re only so-so at being broccoli, though – I hate to tell you.
ROFL!!! I don’t think I have ever heard anyone use fastidious in a sentence before and the touching people comment uhhhh okay lol! But that last comment?! That’s a TAD BIT CREEPY!
I don’t ever look at my spam comments, but we have laughed so ridiculous hard at things that appear in our “Search Engine Terms” – what people type in and then end up at our blog. 🙂
Nicole, why you touching all the internet people? I mean, they’re images. IN YOUR BRAIN! Your responses are SO funny!
Omg, this post was just what I needed on a dreary Sunday morning! :’) I read my spam anytime I feel like shoving some feathers up my own arse xD.
My blog is too small to get that much spam so when I do get a spam comment I can’t help reading it before hitting ‘delete!’ But *your* spam definitely made me laugh!! And your responses are so on point! (I’ve gotten a few of those comments about tools for producing unique content and I was always confused because I mostly blog about books?? So that’s just weird…but not as weird as those random made-up words above 😉
I do read it. Most of the time it’s as funny as you showed. But sometimes it’s annoying. i need a better spam filter. which one do you use?
LOL. I really needed a laugh this morning! Maybe I should start trying to be people too so I get more visitors. Maybe I’ll throw in a few brussels sprouts to cover all bases 🙂 I have to go through my spam regularly because it’s just too strict, but it’s going to be more fun from now on!