Fun with SPAM! #5

November 22, 2018 Let's Discuss, Spam 50

Something sad has happened lately: I haven’t been getting much Spam. At first I was sort of baffled, but then I realized it’s because, due to the new(ish) GDPR regulations, I added the checkbox about my privacy policy to my comments section. I’ve gone from having hundreds of messages in my Spam folder to only a few! For most people, this would be good news, but for me it means I haven’t been able to write a Spam post in a while because it’s taken me a lot longer to build up a supply of “high-quality” Spam comments. Ah, the trials and tribulations of being a blogger!

Anyway…

It’s time for a new installment of Fun with SPAM, where we peek into the abyss of the Spam folder to find a few gems and imagine … what if I were really going to reply to these random crazy comments? 

Take a look at what I might say:


I definitely wanted to construct a simple message to be able to appreciate you for some of the remarkable tactics you are giving out at this site. My time intensive internet investigation has at the end been paid with excellent strategies to exchange with my partners. I ‘d declare that we website visitors actually are extremely blessed to live in a fine site with so many marvellous people with very helpful hints. I feel truly blessed to have used your entire website and look forward to tons of more enjoyable times reading here. Thank you again for a lot of things.

Oh, wow, I was getting worried that no one had noticed the remarkable tactics I’ve been giving out here. Strangely, no one else ever seems to mention them.

But I’ll confess that I wasn’t aware I had any website visitors living in my site. I might have to consider charging a bit of rent. I’m sure you understand … hosting and other fees can get expensive, and it would be nice to be able to spread out the cost a bit, especially if you’re planning to use up my entire website.

 

Hello! Love the cheese content on your site! You know, most businesses get traffic from their blog, and we feel that you could use a little help, since you are not blogging daily yet. Blogging takes a lot of time, and we have just the team to come up with great content you need. You can have a brand new article to post on your website starting at $10 in as little as 5 business days!

This just sounds too good to pass up! Will you write me more articles about cheese? As you noted, that’s a major focus of my blog.

 

I Will Provide Organic Traffic By Keyword From Google, Bing, Yahoo Daily – (Low Bounce Rate).

Thank goodness! I was getting really worried about all the pesticides and such in my normal blog traffic. This seems like a much healthier alternative.

 

Hmm it appears like your site ate my first comment (it was extremely long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I wrote and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog. I too am an aspiring blog blogger but I’m still new to the whole thing. Do you have any points for first-time blog writers? I’d genuinely appreciate it. my web page :: Lawyers For Car Accidents.

I’m so sorry my blog ate your first, well-thought-out comment. Surely it was a grave mistake, as you are obviously a serious blogger who only came here to read about books and tell me how much you love my blog. I will hop right over to check out your Lawyers for Car Accidents blog since it’s right up my alley. And I’ll be sure to leave some tips in the comments for my fellow blog bloggers while I’m there.

 

I am in fact thankful to the holder of this website who has shared this impressive paragraph at here.

Well, I am in fact thankful to you for sharing your impressive comment. So we’re even.

 

At one point with time, many organizations viewed the world of social networking as a enjoying floor for youngsters. Those times are long gone.

So true. Nowadays, even old people like me can enjoy social networking—from the floor, a chair… you name it.

 

Do you mind if I quote a couple of your posts as long as I provide credit and sources back to your website? My blog site is in the very same area of interest as yours and my users would certainly benefit from a lot of the information you present here. Please let me know if this alright with you. Thanks a lot! Here is my web blog: Medifast Meals

Well, it would certainly be difficult to find two more similar blogs than ours. Feel free to quote me as much as you’d like. I’m sure your readers will glean much wisdom from my expertise.

 

Later, you can donate few more preemie clothes to hospital but you can use them in case you are unable to get them in odd times. If you look groomed and professional, your clients will have easier time in trusting you and your employers will probably be watching every move of yours carefully and you will definitely score over your competitors who probably don’t think the same way. 

It never even occurred to me to buy preemie clothes to use for myself and then donate them to a hospital at a later time. What better way to look groomed and professional! I don’t know why everyone wouldn’t think so. And I agree that lots of people would probably be watching my every move very carefully when I go out wearing my brand new preemie clothes. It’s sure to make a statement.

 

With just having few week exercise there is a much great improvement in one. They accept those who are aged 18 to 60, both male and female but they do not accept ‘healthy’ volunteers.

Well, of course; what healthy person would voluntarily exercise? You have come to the right place, though, since I am obviously very unhealthy. I think it’s due to all those pesticides in my non-organic blog traffic. Luckily, that problem will be solved soon.


See, spam really can be fun! If you liked this post, check out my past spam posts—they’re good for a laugh!

Do you ever read your spam? Does it make you laugh? Remember any crazy spam comments? I want to know!

 

50 Responses to “Fun with SPAM! #5”

  1. Aj @ Read All The Things!

    I read my spam! I love the ones that insult my blog and then offer to help if I give them money. I wonder how often that business tactic works? Recently, I got a comment that said something like, “Your website is not in English. People will have trouble understanding it.” Um . . . okay? I know I occasionally invent words, but it can’t be that bad!

    • Nicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction

      I always think that about the insulting ones too. Do they actually ever get people to visit them with those? And I always love it when someone offers to “help” my writing with a completely unintelligible comment. Obviously the sort of experts you’d trust.

  2. Danielle Hammelef

    I enjoy your spam posts very much. Maybe the cheese comment was supposed to be an adjective describing some of your posts? (JK) Too bad about less spam–guess your blog is headed towards being “fat free.”

  3. Marie @ Drizzle & Hurricane Books

    Hahaha this is such a fun post! I have to say, I sometimes read spam comments, but not that often when there are too much and some of them don’t even make a whole lot of sense. Some others are pretty convincing, though, haha 🙂 The one talking about the cheese content on your blog made me laugh ahaha. You do have a lot of cheese on the blog hahaha.

    • Nicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction

      Yeah, a lot of spam is just utterly nonsensical, but these ones that ALMOST make sense are way more fun. And you have to wonder where things like the cheese comment come from. Do they just choose a random topic to pretend you’re writing about? Why cheese? 🙂

  4. Kristen @ Metaphors and Moonlight

    Oh man, now I’m picturing that first spammer as some little internet goblin living inside the internet, and he’s chosen your site as his home, haha. I kind of want to write a story about that now.

    Oh dang, I seem to have all your cheese content! 😉

    A blog blogger. Do they blog about blogs? How meta!

    Fun post, as usual!

  5. Shannon @ It Starts at Midnight

    Oh how I love these! I think I am a non-compliant blog blogger so I probably still have lots of spam if you ever need to borrow some 😂 I am cracking up. I mean, if you are going to spam all the livelong day, at least get a decent post to spam with, right?

    I love all the cheese info I get here. Better change your blog name. Feed Your Cheese Addiction. Also THAT is what I have been doing wrong all these years- I have been wearing normal adult clothes, when I was *supposed to* be wearing clothes designed for a sub-5 lb infant. ::headdesk::

    Shannon @ It Starts at Midnight recently posted: Inarticulate Book Musings: Books I’ve Read Since Last We Did This
    • Nicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction

      Feed Your Cheese Addiction … I like the sound of that. I mean, to be fair, I do really like cheese. I just don’t remember mentioning it all that often on the blog.

      And for once the two of us can be ahead of the fashion trends with this preemie thing. I just know we’ll be seeing it on the runways soon.

  6. ShootingStarsMag

    Oh gosh, these are hilarious. Thankfully, I don’t get too much spam, but I love what you do with it for these posts. And this reply is hilarious: “So true. Nowadays, even old people like me can enjoy social networking—from the floor, a chair… you name it.” Clever. 😉

    -Lauren

  7. Rachel @Waves of Fiction

    Omg, I’ve been laughing my head off with these comments and your replies! So hilarious! Do these people ever get actual replies? I wonder. Thanks for giving me a good laugh this afternoon! 🙂

  8. Jovita @ Inky Impressions

    I don’t get spam very often, but when I do it’s usually a spammer saying how they love my site and if I had any suggestions to help them. I tend to get those on older posts, from years ago.

    I enjoyed reading your replies, thanks for the laugh. Oh yes, I love cheese, please post more!

  9. Irena BookDustMagic

    Ohh, I can see your spammers really take time to write you messages.
    I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining, but my spammers usually just post some web site address or post one-two sentences.

  10. Lark @ The Bookwyrm's Hoard

    Omigosh, these are funny! And so are your responses. The one about the preemie clothes had me literally laughing out loud.

    Most of the spam I get is massively long strings of nonsense with buy links scattered through it, but I do get some of the generic, poorly-translated “love your blog” ones like some of the spam you quoted here. I never thought of turning it into a blog post, though — kudos to you!

    Lark @ The Bookwyrm's Hoard recently posted: Fact and fiction: Never the twain shall meet? — Part 2
  11. Erica Robyn

    Oh my gosh, these are too funny!! Gotta love spam! I get a TON of them that are related to SEO because I reviewed ONE book about SEO…MONTHS ago lol!

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